Funnier in Latin

Southern Sense & Sensibility
by Regina

Ahhhh, the South. Where the belt buckles are the size of your head, the food is plentiful, and no one has any idea what the phrase "you guys" means. Now, there are many misconceptions about the south, and lots of things you may not realize, but need to if you’re going to write that aspect of Fred. So, I’m going to take the proverbial crack at explaining things.

Southern Myths Exposed:

Myth #1: Aren’t all of those people racist?

Well, no more so than anyone else in any other part of the world. Sure there are racist people in the south, but come on, there are racist people everywhere! This misconception comes mainly from the South’s history of the support of slavery. Most people from the south with a good head on their shoulders are no more racist that you are. You do have some "good old boys" that still fly their rebel flag and shout "SOUTHERN PRIDE BAYBEE!" but we call those people idiots. At least, I do.

Myth #2: Do you guys have like, a secret language?

I will forever damn Jeff Foxworthy for his comedy. Yes, some people in the south have heavy southern accents and we "shure do sound funny ma!" And so, ok, maybe some people DO use the phrase "didjaeatyet?" and "nawjawantto?" but not many. Unless you’re playing up the Southern stereotype for laughs, I’d avoid too many walking redneck jokes.

Myth #3: Do you sleep with your livestock?

I can honestly say no. Farming is still a rather large industry in the south, but it’s mainly raising cattle and hogs for slaughter. You still have some honest to goodness farms, but they’re not as common as you’d think. Fred is from Texas, and there the main industry is oil. But most farmers in Texas raise cattle. Just for the record.

Myth #4: *Whisper: Do you sleep with your COUSINS? *

Again, no. Well, not myself personally, I’m not saying it doesn’t happen. A general rule of thumb is to be able to distinguish between the people you on Jerry Springer and real life people. Southern people are basically just the same as everyone else. Don’t get me wrong, you have your wackos, but in general, we are all from family trees with very distinct branches.

Fun Southern Facts to Know and Tell:

Fact #1: Southern people are really nice.

Just, extremely nice. On a daily basis, doors are held open for me wherever I go, and complete strangers offer to pump my gas. You’re standing in line at the supermarket and you’re a couple cents short? Someone’s going to give it to you. Struggling to lug heavy bags/containers/objects? Someone’s going to offer to help. We say please and thank you, we say ma’am and sir. It’s how most Southern people were raised, and even if you’re the biggest jerk on the face of the planet, it sticks with you to an extent.

Fact #2: Family is very important in the south.

Most Southern people have a very strong sense of family. It’s not uncommon to have Sunday Family Dinners, and in general, even if you can’t stand a certain family member, you’d do anything for them. This is especially important to know when writing Fred because these ideals carry over. She’ll treat the gang at AI with the same respect, as they are now her "family" even if it’s not shown outright.

Fact #3: Southern people like to eat.

Food is plentiful in the south, and you eat a lot from birth. That’s where Fred gets it from, trust me. It’s not just because she’s been in a cave for five years.

So, there we are folks. The South isn’t some big redneck enigma, it’s really just like any other place, with certain habits and ideals. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have to go wrestle a gator and take my cousin to the prom!