Funnier in Latin
Spoilers: If you haven't seen "A Hole in the World," this contains a mild allusion that could be spoilerish.
Summary: Fred helps Willow readjust post-astral projection.
Disclaimer: These characters belong to Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy, et al.
Author's Note: Explicit femslash. I won't warn you again.
Willow opened her eyes, feeling groggy and disoriented. Astral projection
could really give a girl portal lag. There was sunlight streaming in
through the blinds, and the clock on the bedside table read 3:22.
Afternoon. She looked around, and saw a glass of orange juice within reach
near the clock. She grabbed it and drank thirstily. She wondered what day
it was, how long she'd been out this time.
She struggled to sit up, but her head felt too woozy. She flopped back down
against the pillows. Just then, the door creaked open, and Winifred Burkle
poked her head into the room.
"Willow!" she exclaimed excitedly. "You're back!" She bustled into the
room carrying a tray piled high with pancakes and more juice. "Mr. Giles
called and said he thought you might be waking up today. I made you some
Willow smiled gratefully and tried to sit up again. "I'm still a little out
of it." she apologized. "This happens sometimes."
"I've read all about it. It's sort of like one-dimensional jet lag." Fred
helped Willow prop herself into a sitting position with some pillows behind
her, and set the tray across her lap. While she was leaning over the
redhead to fluff up the pile, Willow suddenly became very aware of something
unusual in Fred's appearance.
While making short work of the pancakes, Willow studied the physicist
carefully. She was wearing her usual dark rimmed glasses and a white lab
coat, buttoned down the middle. And apparently, nothing else.
She took a large gulp of orange juice. "Um, Fred," she asked cautiously.
"What are you wearing?"
Fred looked at her, startled. "Oh, I forgot," she blushed. "See, I tried
out this new charm on the washing machine, and it magically expanded it's
capacity, and I got so excited about washing all of my clothes at once, that
I put all of my clothes in before I realized I wouldn't have anything to
wear." She grinned sheepishly and gathered the lab coat closer to herself.
"You could've borrowed some of my clothes," Willow suggested.
"Well, you were off astral projecting, and I didn't want to take anything
without asking," Fred explained.
"I see," Willow said. Not that she minded Fred hanging around in
provocative science nerd outfits. She eyed the taller girls bare legs,
which were covered only over their top most portions by the hem of the lab
coat. Willow's full stomach started to feel a little warm.
"So, how are you feelin?" Fred asked. 'I've been researching astral
projection. Not many people can master it on a conscious level."
"It wasn't too hard," Willow said modestly. "But getting back into your
body at the end, feels kind of like a cross-dimensional hangover."
"Hmm." Fred assessed the redhead. "Do you feel better after you eat and
"Oh yes," Willow agreed. "Thanks for the breakfast, it was terrific."
"That would indicate that your symptoms can be somewhat relieved by actions
which tie you to your body, seeing to it's physical needs." Fred theorized.
"Like I said, I've been doing some research."
"Are you trying to come up with a cure? Like metaphysical Dramamine, or
something?" Willow asked, intrigued.
"No," Fred laughed, "but I think I know some other things that might help."
"Other things?" Willow gulped, feeling kind of warm all over.
"Well, your physical and spiritual presences have been divided, causing the
discomfort that you're currently experiencing," Fred explained. "It's
especially hard for you because you leave your body for long periods of
time, using conscious energy to do so. I have formulas that I've written,
but I wouldn't want to bore you." she said with a wave of her hand.
"Anyway, I have a hypothesis that I'd like to test. If you don't mind."
"Fred, you ditched work on a moment's notice to catch the next portal down
here just because Kennedy took off two days before my astral projection was
scheduled to start. I've been out of my body for almost the whole time, so
I haven't even been able to hang out with you. I think the least I can do
is help you experiment." Willow blushed a little at the unexpected double
entendre of her last sentence.
Fred, looking slightly blushy as well, smiled. "Wolfram and Hart will be
just fine. Although Wesley did call to say that they had to fire my lab
assistant for being an acolyte of an ancient demon god-king, and plotting to
resurrect her on company time. Anyway, I was just glad you called."
Nervously, she placed a hand on Willow's shoulder.
Willow looked at her questioningly.
"Can you roll over, on your stomach?" Fred asked. Feeling stronger after
her meal, Willow complied. Fred climbed onto the bed and began a slow
massage of Willow's shoulders. Willow let out a soft moan. It felt
"Is it helping?" Fred asked.
"Mmm.." Willow answered.
Fred smiled, and continued working the knots out of Willow's neck and
shoulder muscles. Her hands working over Willow's modest white silk robe,
to stimulate the body beneath.
Willow was definitely feeling stimulated. Between Fred's outfit, physics
talk, and now the massage, she thought, she was absolutely getting back in
touch with some of her body's more physical needs. She felt a tell-tale
tightening of her stomach muscles, and a growing dampness between her
"I took some phone messages for you," Fred mentioned casually, continuing
her ministrations. "You'd be surprised how ornery people can be about not
being able to speak with you, on account of you projecting on a different
plane and all. Anyway, Buffy has been calling almost every day to see how
you're doing. And Xander wanted to let you know that if you say the word,
he can pull Kennedy to guard the sub-Saharan Hellmouth from now till
Willow's muscles tensed at the mention of her now, apparently,
ex-girlfriend. Fred redoubled her efforts, running skilled fingers over
Willow's back. "I didn't know there was a sub-Saharan Hellmouth," Willow
"Well, I think it's been closed for the past millennium. Not much demonic
activity, really, unless you count 'The English Patient' being four hours
long as an inexplicably evil occurrence." Fred explained. "So, did you
two.you know.break up?"
"She hit the road with that electro-tramp friend of Angel's," Willow sounded
indifferent. "I knew she was trouble from the minute she showed up on our
doorstep with the old 'I think we had the same butler' line for Kennedy."
"Gwen Raiden is a super-powered hussy," Fred said vehemently. "I know for a
fact that she's tried to get it on with Angel and Charles before. I mean,
so she can shoot electricity from her fingers. Besides that and the heavy
leather wardrobe, she doesn't have anything that you haven't got."
Willow smiled at Fred's rant. "Thanks," she answered. "But really, with me
and Kennedy, it was just a matter of time."
"Still," Fred said. "I'm sorry." She emphasized this point by moving one
of her hands up to brush Willow's hair back from her face, stroking it
slightly in the process. Emphasis that Fred felt she needed, due to not
feeling very sorry at all that Willow's someone was now her ex-someone.
Willow was actually having serious trouble following the conversation. She
felt like all of her energy was focused on the feel of Fred's hands against
"So, are you feeling more connected?" Fred asked.
"Yes," Willow breathed.
"Are you experiencing any sensory distortion, like the room feeling too hot
or too cold?" Fred continued.
"Well," Willow admitted, "I am feeling kind of warm. But I don't think - "
She was cut off by the sudden movements of Fred, as the scientist stopped
her massage, and ran over to the dresser. She returned with a small basin
of water and a sponge. Willow gulped, half-hoping and half-fearing what
Fred might have in mind.
Sure enough, Fred was gently squeezing cool water on the back of Willow's
neck. Small rivulets of water ran down Willow's back, with a few renegade
drops cascading over her shoulders and dripping torturously down the front
of her body. Her nipples hardened in response. Cold as the water was,
Willow still felt flushed.
"Better?" Fred looked at her questioningly, her hand on Willow's shoulder.
Willow turned her gaze to Fred's eyes, trying to search out her motives
while studiously avoiding the temptation to stare at her skimpy lab outfit.
Fred was staring at her with the same mix of desire and uncertainty
reflected in her face.
Slowly, with a smile that was halfway between shyness and seduction, Willow
ran her hand up Fred's arm and shoulder, until her fingers brushed the pulse
point on Fred's neck.
Deftly, she began tracing small circles on the smooth skin of Fred's throat.
Lightly. She could feel Fred's pulse start to race. Willow experienced
the heady rush of being completely back in her body, with an almost electric
spark running under the skin of her fingertips, where she was touching Fred.
Maybe it was part of being a scientist, Fred thought, but she sometimes felt
like her brain was too full of thoughts to ever be clear again. Like in the
eternally long moment that it felt like it was taking for her to bend
forward and finally kiss Willow. It really couldn't have been more than
five seconds, unless you took into account Einstein's paper on the
Electrodynamics of Moving Bodies. But in that time, Fred's mind was
frantically calculating exactly how many seconds, minutes, hours, days, she
had spent waiting for and desperately wanting exactly this moment. The
forty-eight hours that Willow had spent in the Hyperion working to restore
Angel's soul, plus several hours spent mooning and laboring over each email
sent and received between them since the Hellmouth had closed, plus every
second of every day since she'd arrived in Sao Paulo.
As Willow continued to stroke her neck, Fred flashed briefly on the image of
those delicate white fingers stroking her in other places. Below the waist
places. She felt the current of attraction pulsing between the two of them,
and briefly wondered what Kennedy could want with Gwen Raiden, when it
already felt so electric with Willow. Then again, maybe it wasn't electric
between them. Maybe it was something else. Fred kind of hoped so.
The next second, they were kissing, and Fred's mind went completely blank,
lost in the sensation of Willow's mouth. It was all hot lips and wet lips
and tongues sliding and snaking and her stomach feeling like the bottom just
dropped out of an elevator and she felt like kissing Willow was what she was
always meant to do. Like this kiss was the one kiss she was meant to be
kissing. She couldn't have said whether the kiss lasted for minutes or
hours, it felt like it had always been happening, and somehow always would
be. Willow's mouth tasted like syrup, and their tongues were doing some
kind of exploratory dance of probing and sliding, and my god, she wanted
Willow so bad.
Fred gasped as she came up for air, and felt Willow's mouth trailing wet
kisses down her neck. She tangled her hands in Willow's silky red hair and
tentatively sucked Willow's earlobe into her mouth. She was rewarded with a
throaty moan from beneath her. She tossed her glasses carelessly on the
bedside table and ran her tongue over Willow's jugular vein.
Willow was hungrily kissing every inch of skin exposed by the neckline of
Fred's lab coat. She began to tug lightly at the material, trying to get
better access. As her hands fumbled for the buttons, she caught sight of
Fred's nipples straining against the white fabric.
Fred drew a sharp breath as Willow's lips moved over her right nipple,
dampening the flimsy white cotton covering her. As the witch's hand moved
up to knead her other breast, Willow's teeth bit softly, causing Fred to
moan again, as she felt herself getting wetter and wetter. She leaned
forward, and slowly ran her own tongue along Willow's jugular vein, sending
a small shiver down Willow's back.
Willow worked her way back up to Fred's mouth, kissing her passionately and
pushing her back down onto the bed, pressing the length of their bodies
together. Fred was feeling positively light-headed at all the sensations
she was experiencing. Her almost painfully hard nipples were rubbing
against Willow's own equally erect pair. She felt the rough friction of the
cotton against Willow's silk robe and bucked her hips unconsciously.
She wrapped her legs around Willow's waist and her arms around Willow's
neck. The touching and the kissing was still making her head spin in a very
good way. She was fondling every part of Willow that she could touch, and
she still wanted more.
Her hands fumbled for the knotted belt of Willow's robe, which was by now
pushed halfway off her shoulders. It pulled apart easily, and Fred
stretched an arm behind the red head in an attempt to tug it off completely.
The material was loose and compliant, except that Willow's arms were still
in the sleeves of the robe, and said arms were currently entwined around
Fred. In frustration, Fred considered the force it would take to rip the
silk, but became distracted when her hands reached the largely naked expanse
of Willow's back. She ran her hands up and down the sensitive skin of
Willow's back, pressing the redhead even closer against her, and eliciting a
moan of longing when she experimentally ran her nails down Willow's spine.
Willow broke their kiss, panting slightly, and sat up for a moment to
finally remove her robe. Fred's eyes widened at the sight of naked Willow,
who was even more amazing and beautiful than she had ever imagined. Not
that she'd spent hours, or maybe even days, fantasizing about naked Willow.
Naked Willow, who was now leaning forward and kissing the hollow of Fred's
throat while unbuttoning the lower buttons of the white lab coat. Fred's
hands moved instinctively to stroke Willow's hair, and Willow glanced up
with a mischievous look on her face before using her teeth to rip off the
final button. Fred was feeling almost faint with desire.
Willow opened the front of the lab coat all the way, but made no move to
take it off Fred completely. She did crawl back on top of Fred, pressing
the length of their nearly naked bodies together.
"Oh God, Willow," Fred managed to gasp, as she felt Willow's hips grinding
against her. She could feel soft folds of wetness pressing against her own.
"I'm gonna cum before you even touch me."
"Not if I can help it," Willow's voice growled in her ear, as the younger
woman slid her hand between Fred's thighs. Fred gasped again at the
sensation. Willow ran her fingers slowly over Fred's lips, continuing to
slightly tease her partner. Fred bucked her hips hard, and Willow slid her
fingers inside her. Fred moaned so loudly, she was sure they must have
heard her back in LA. She felt herself clamping tightly around Willow's
skilled fingers, which were rhythmically stroking inside her. She could
feel a massive orgasm coming on. Through a haze of lust and sweat, she
leaned up to kiss Willow again, and simultaneously reached her own hand
between Willow's legs. The witch was already soaking wet, and breathing
raggedly. Tentatively, Fred ran two fingers across the protruding nub of
Willow's clit, causing Willow's entire body to convulse involuntarily.
"Don't stop," Fred whispered, as Willow regained enough control to continue
pleasuring her with her fingers. She was stroking harder and faster, and
Fred couldn't get enough. As she felt herself approaching a huge climax,
she continued fondling Willow's clit between her fingers, rubbing hard
circles over the tiny bundle of nerves. She could feel Willow was on the
verge as well. She thrust her fingers inside Willow while keeping her thumb
pressed firmly against her clit. Willow plowed her fingers inside Fred one
more time, curling them upward as far as she could.
"Willow," Fred cried, as she felt the first wave of her orgasm about to hit.
Willow was beyond coherent words by then, as she also felt the tide of her
orgasm swelling inside of her. Their bodies shook so hard that the rattling
of the bed frame almost drowned out their panting breaths and moans of
They continued to hold one another as the final shudders of their climaxes
passed and their breathing returned to normal.
"Wow," Willow said, rolling on her side while keeping an arm draped across
Fred's torso. The power of babble seemed to have deserted her in the midst
of this sweaty happy tangled up in each other feeling. "I mean, WOW."
"I'll see your WOW and raise you an 'Oh my GOD!'" Fred giggled, running a
hand through Willow's tousled hair. "Was it better than metaphysical
"And how," Willow agreed. "You're a genius," she added, while snuggling a
little against the warmth of Fred's body.
"You were a tough nut to crack," Fred admitted. "If the sponge bath didn't
do it, I was running out of ideas."
"You know, you had me at the lab coat," Willow admitted with a smile. "How
long is your leave from Wolfram and Hart, anyway?"
Fred grinned back and gave Willow a tiny eskimo kiss on the nose. "As long
as we want it be, actually."