Monosyllabic Eccentricity

Title: Reaction
Author: Ailie
Rating: G
Spoilers: None
Summary: Oz dyes his hair, with alarming results.
Disclaimer: I own nothing. All belongs to Joss and UPN.


"Hey,” there was a tentative knock at Oz’s bedroom door before Willow entered. “Feeling better? I brought you a chocolate treat to cheer you up.” She reached into her coat pocket. “See, it’s a flower. Well, sort of. Actually it’s a green pipe cleaner with two little red Hershey kisses glued on the end. But still kinda ... flowery.”

Oz just groaned and pulled the covers over his head. “No offence Will, but food type odors are not exactly what the doctor ordered.”

“Oh, Sorry. So, what did the doctor order?” As gently as possible, Willow sat on the edge of the bed and pulled the blanket away from her boyfriend’s face ... and took some of his hair along with it.

Clumps of hair lay on Oz’s pillow, the dyed red strands almost exactly the same shade as the violent rash covering his balding head. “A wig?” All the color drained from his face. “And perhaps a basin?”

Willow quickly grabbed the bucket by her feet and held Oz’s head as he wretched. After he had finished and collapsed back onto the pillows Willow went down the hall to the bathroom. ~Yuck,~ she thought as she flushed the regurgitated stomach contents down the toilet. ~You know it’s love when you’re willing to do stuff like this.~

“Sorry you feel so yucky,” Willow said softly as she replaced the bucket and wiped Oz’s forehead with a damp cloth. “But maybe there’s a lesson to learn from all this, you know?”

Oz closed his eyes and swallowed hard. “Well, I do know now that M&Ms do not taste as good coming up as they do going down.”

Willow did her best to appear stern. “I’m talking about reading directions. What is it with guys and not reading directions, anyway?”

“Can’t help it. It’s in the genes.” He attempted a smile that ended up being more of a grimace. “Besides, I read did read them. No one really does that allergy test 24 hours before dying their hair ...” Willow’s face fell and Oz quickly backpedaled “Except of course for my beautiful red-headed girlfriend?”

“See? There are advantages to toeing the line. For instance, you don’t end up doing your best impression of someone in serious need of an exorcism.” That came out a little harsher than she had planned. Willow softened her tone a bit. “So what did the doctor say?”

Oz sighed. “That I’d have to quit dying my hair, at least for a while. Oh, and if any of my hair is left, I’m supposed to wash it with that stuff.” He pointed to a bottle sitting on his bedside stand.

Willow opened the bottle and almost choked. “God, that smells awful!”

“Hence why it is not being used at the moment.”

“Well, you really should at least try ... maybe if I helped it wouldn’t be so bad?” Willow smiled shyly.

“I dunno, Will. I really don’t ... oh.” Willow’s intent suddenly dawned on him. “Exactly what kind of help are you offering?”

She shrugged. “I was thinking a bath, since you’re a little to weak to stand. And since I wouldn’t want to get my sweater all wet, well I guess I’d have to join you.”

“An interesting proposal.” Oz struggled to a sitting position, then allowed Willow to help him to his feet. “If I’d known what a good nurse you are, I would’ve gotten myself sick a long time ago.”

“Hey,” she flashed him a bright smile. “What are girlfriends for?”