Monosyllabic Eccentricity

Title: The Best I Ever Had
Author: Emilie
Rating: PG-13
Spoilers: None - future fic
Summary: Oz is faced with Death.
Disclaimer: I don't own the characters. Although I do play with them. I also stole the lyrics from Vertical Horizons "The best I ever had" and twisted them. The songs about being pissed at someone I think. . . oh well. Now its a beautiful Willow and Oz song, woo!
Author's Note: For Shannon and Karen and Marra and Little Faith and Ava and Crystal. . . I could go on.


Oz stood by the gravestones of his friends. Watching as they lowered the pearly white casket of the last of them. Willow. She had been the last to breath from the small group of high school friends. The last of the group, the person who had grown from being shy and timid into a strong and powerful witch. The one who had cast a spell to save the world. . . and killed herself.

So you sailed away
Into a grey sky morning
Now I'm here to stay


Oz hadn't come back in time to see her. They'd sent word to him. He'd been in Denmark, working with one of the local warlocks and figuring out new ways to control the wolf. To manipulate it into a weapon instead of just a curse. He'd caught the first flight and been too late. "Willow." Her name rushed out in a half sobbing breath. One of the men at the funeral looked up at him, he didn't recognize the man. He didn't recognize anyone at the funeral, no one from the group he knew. . .

But it's not so bad
You're only the best I ever had
You don't want me back
You're just the best I ever had


The service had finished. He still stood by the grave, the sunlight mocked him. On this horrible day of death. . . it should have been a foggy storming rainy day. Nature herself should have bowed down on a knee and mourned for the loss of the greatest people he had ever known. The scooby gang, the fixers of wrongs. The people who had stood between the world and evil so many times they'd lost count.

He'd stepped away from that life. He'd left, all because of her. He'd stepped away to give her a life she wanted, he'd stepped away. . . after spending months trying to find a cure for her. He'd been angry, hurt, devastated. . . and then he'd gotten over it. Because he loved her.

So you stole my world
Now I'm just a phony
Remembering the girl
Leaves me down and lonely


He'd done the right thing. He'd told himself that a million times, each time it had hurt his brain and made him try to think of a way to come back, just to see her smile and smell her scent. Even for a moment. He still longed for her. . . for her love and for her warmth, the warmth that she radiated to everyone. The way she made everyone feel special and pointed out their errors in subtle ways so as to never hurt their feelings.

Just being around her felt like everything he did was wrong. She had been perfect and he had been nothing but flawed, except in her eyes. And now she was gone, ripped from the world. Because he hadn't been there on time. Because his plane hadn't flown fast enough, because he hadn't heard the urgency in Xander's voice and because he didn't realize that this time the apocalypse wouldn't come, but at the cost of all those he really loved.

And it may take some time to
Patch me up inside
But I can't take it so I
Run away and hide
And I may find in time that
You were always right
You're always right


He stood there by the grave even after the diggers had come and piled the cool earth over her. Marring the beautiful white of her casket. Oz couldn't bring himself to look around him. At his other friends graves. Rupert Giles, Alexander Harris, Anya, Cordelia, Wesley, even Buffy Summers. The Slayer, the longest lived and most famous slayer in all time. She was dead.

They were all dead. He was the only one left. He couldn't think about them now though, he needed to think about her. And how she was perfect, the best, the most. The girl who had changed his life in a instant while standing awkwardly at in a Eskimo suite at a dance. The girl who had shifted his life for the better and then torn it all apart. The girl he loved and would always love.

The full moon rose above his head. He watched the milky radiance glance off the smooth stone of her gravestone. And felt wet tears stream down his face as he turned, and walked away from her, for the last time.

What was it you wanted
Could it be I'm haunted
But it's not so bad
You're only the best I ever had
I don't want you back
You're just the best I ever had
The best I ever had


Best I Ever Had

So you sailed away
Into a grey sky morning
Now I'm here to stay
Love can be so boring
Nothing's quite the same now
I just say your name now

Chorus
But it's not so bad
You're only the best I ever had
You don't want me back
You're just the best I ever had

So you stole my world
Now I'm just a phony
Remembering the girl
Leaves me down and lonely

Send it in a letter
Make yourself feel better

Chorus
But it's not so bad
You're only the best I ever had
You don't need me back
You're just the best I ever had

And it may take some time to
Patch me up inside
But I can't take it so I
Run away and hide
And I may find in time that
You were always right
You're always right

So you sailed away
Into a grey sky morning
Now I'm here to stay
Love can be so boring

What was it you wanted
Could it be I'm haunted
But it's not so bad
You're only the best I ever had
I don't want you back
You're just the best I ever had
The best I ever had
The best I ever